How Women Think when you go down on them

Oral sex is a funny old game.
It’s undeniably a most welcome part of a person’s sex life but it’s not without its own set of ‘issues’.
There’s something pretty powerful about knowing how to go down on a woman – not only does it show that you genuinely care about her pleasure, but also that her orgasm is as important to you as your own.
However, when you’re down below, there’s a lot more going on up top than you might realise and some of it ain’t all that pretty.

From the state of her bikini line to the shock introduction of some a-hole action, here are 25 things all women think when you go down on them.
1. And relax
Or at least try to.
The initial moments of oral sex are often not conducive with total relaxation.
More often than not, it’s a way to trigger a whole host of unsexy thoughts.

2. Do I smell
Unless you’re getting it on post shower and are guaranteed peachy clean, a bit of pre-dive anxiety is standard.
It takes a special kind of person to head south after you’ve spent five hours in a club in a pair of 60 deniers.
3. When did I last wax?
And once the oral hygiene fear has past, the pube panic arrives.
When did I last wax? Have I got stubble? Damn, I hope he doesn’t see that ingrown I’ve been picking at on my inner thigh for the last week.
4. Oh, hang on…
Sod the bikini line, this guy’s got some tongue moves going on.
5. Fingers too
Yes, please.
6. That’s not my clit
Left a little, up a bit, now if I just move my hips…
And we have lift off!

(Picture: Getty)

7. And no suggestion of a 69-er either
Result.
8. I hope he’s got staying power
This is just getting fun and I may be some time.
9. I must get that light bulb changed
10. I wonder if Ikea is open tomorrow
11. Mmmm, meatballs
12. And, back in the room
13. Ohh, yes
14. Crikey, back door action
That was unexpected.
15. Please don’t feel poo, please don’t feel poo, please don’t…
16. But, ohh, hmm, hello

(Picture: Getty)

17. A man who can multi-task
Dreams do come true.
18. I think I’m going to come
19. Please don’t look up
20. Ok, you’re staring at me
Arches back, licks lips, groans.
21. Thank God I’m not a squirter
22. Bingo

Quite exhausted after that (Picture: Getty)

23. He’s coming up, he’s going in for a kiss
And yep, a gob full of my own vagina.
24. Hmm, not too bad actually
If he could read my thoughts.
25. You want a blow job now don’t you
Oh well, fun while it lasted.